The iconic Bruce Lee

Dear Max,

To me, Bruce Lee was more than a man. He was a philosopher that graced this world to change stereotypes and the modern world. Bruce Lee once said:

Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.

Let’s break this down.

Absorb what is useful means to take from life the important things. Learn from the masters. Study to find the answers to each and every question you seek.

Discard what is not refers to avoiding the useless. This is in regards to activities, people and information. Useless information doesn’t help you get anywhere. Only hold onto what is needed.

Add what is uniquely your own explains itself. Don’t copy others. Give back. Figure out a new way to do something. Share your thoughts with the world in a new way. No matter what you do, always put your own stamp on it.

Love,

Daddy

2nd Dan, Tang Soo Do

My Dad and you. July 2, 2014

Dear Max,

There are a lot of things in life I would love to hide from you. Mom and I were talking about it the other night. Its a different world than when we grew up. Pain and heartache are inevitable in life.

I will be the first to tell you that growing up I learned that men don’t cry. I kept to this for many years and still do, publicly. However, sometimes its good just to let it out, either with someone very close to you or alone. I didn’t know what true pain was until my father passed away. Its been seven months now. The days at the beginning were much longer and hurt much more. I certainly don’t feel better today but I don’t feel worse. Things arise on a daily basis that are firsts without him.

I don’t know that this pain will ever go away. I can’t speak to that yet. What I can tell you is that no matter how bad things get, time will help the healing process. For the smaller things, they’ll fade. For the larger, will work through it together.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Max,

If I could only give you one piece of advice for the rest of your life I would tell you: Never tell yourself “no.” The reason it is so important is because, without fail, you will have many people that will try to tell you “no.” The last thing you want to do is give into the pressure form someone else who doesn’t have faith in you.

Down your path in life, whatever it may be, you will run into a number of individuals who will discourage you from progress. For one reason or another they listened to others in their life that discouraged their dreams. They think that because they were unable to do what they wanted, you should not be able to do what you want. They have given in. You can’t.

Telling yourself not to do what you really want to do is like telling the Pope he can’t pray. Its just not right.

Love,

Daddy

Michelangelo’s David, Florence, Italy

Dear Max,

Here’s something to ponder:

“The greatest risk to man is not that he aims too high and misses, but that he aims too low and hits.”

– Michelangelo

Word to the wise: Aim high.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Throughout life we are led to believe there is a mysterious secret to success and happiness. We are lead to believe that this secret is only known in small circles and only to the most influential people – namely those with money. It’s all very hush-hush and maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get a glimpse of their secret.

This ‘secret’ that is spoken of does not exist. Don’t listen to them. What got them to the point they are at can be one of three things: hard work, inheritance or knowing the right people.

The secret is you. You either listen to societal pressures and make someone else rich for the rest of your life, or you move forward and build your empire. Which will you choose?

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

To every situation there are two sides. Those around you will constantly want you to pick a side. It is perfectly fine to be decisive; you should always know where you stand. However, it is important to know both sides.

If you only know one side of every situation you will end up living in a bubble. One that is created of only the things you want to believe and hear. This is a dangerous way of life because it breeds ignorance and a sheltered view of reality.

In the 20^th century of America, our entire nation lived and breathed the news. There were three channels on television. The main newspaper came out twice a day with a morning and evening edition. Today, our newspapers are coming out three times a week. We have 1,000 or more channels on television, many without a shred of news. I tell this to you because now more than ever the news can be avoided. Americans overall are less informed.

This doesn’t have to be you. I’m not saying you have to watch or read the news 24/7. I’m just saying take some time to consume regular news. You will be challenged in life to make very tough decisions. Decisions that may impact every facet of your life. You need to read, watch and listen to the world around you, dissect it and develop a conclusion for yourself.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Honesty is the best policy. Sometimes you may want to lie as to not hurt someone, but it only hurts them more in the long run not knowing the truth.

Love,
Daddy

PS: If you tell the truth, you’ll never have to remember the lie.

Dad and I eating Popsicles, circa 1989, Dearborn, MI

Dear Max,

My dad always told me, “a man is only as good as his word.” if you tell somebody you’re going to do something, you do it. Plain and simple.

Ever since I can remember my dad told this to me. He never let anyone down on his word that I know of. I know I have dropped the ball here and there along the way but it is something that I’ve always strived for.

I learned a lot from him like installing an above ground pool, hanging drywall, working on cars, painting homes, installing exterior siding, playing music, and so much more. In each instance he promised someone that it would be done, and we did it. It wasn’t something that he promised someone and they had to wait a few months to get it done. It would get done pretty quickly. Even with promises he made me. “Let’s go Donnie,” he would say, and off we’d go.

My dad never let me down and I’ll never let you down. After all, if you can’t stay true to your word, what kind of man are you?

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Best friends

One of my best friends, affectionately known to you as Uncle Sunshine, and I have a running joke. We can never get each other on the phone. Our schedules are just too far apart some days. It doesn’t help that he is a couple time zones away in Burbank, CA. The running joke is what we call “the law of averages.”

I call him at least every other day of the week. I know most of the time he won’t answer. That’s okay because I know we will at least talk to each other a few times a month. Now if I called him just a few times a month I may only get him on the phone a few times a year. Of course he calls me back but many times I am putting you to bed or I’m already in bed because of waking up with so during the night. Every voicemail I leave I just say, “Its the law of averages, call me when you’re free.”

Now the law of averages works for many other things as well. It worked extremely well for Thomas Edison. Read this quote:

“I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.” – Thomas Edison

Anything you want in life, whether it is a simple phone call or a new invention, you have to work at. You have to keep trying. Many times you are just a few feet away from gold.

Love,

Daddy

Saturday morning dance party

Dear Max,

Nothing is more important than your happiness. I have always been a believer that if you start the day off on a good foot the rest of the day will go well. Start the day on the wrong foot and you may just end up having a bad day – and, we certainly don’t need too many of those.

When I first married your mom, I had to do a lot to get her out of bed and ready for the day. I won’t go into it or she might get mad. 🙂 Each day I started having more fun in the morning and eventually it caught on. We would sing or have dance parties or just goof around in general all before 7am. As a testament to that, this morning she sang to you all morning – you couldn’t stop smiling. Now I know your day is going to be a good one, and mine too!

As you get older, remember this: What you do in the morning, what you listen to on the radio on your way to work or school and how you approach the day in general has a major effect on your entire day. Continue to be that happy person. Find good things to motivate you each day. With this approach, you’ll never lose.

Love,

Daddy