Dear Max,

Being a true gentleman is a dying art in America these days.

What does it mean to be a true gentleman? A true gentleman is a man who knows the audience he is talking to and adjusts his language appropriately. He holds the door for a lady. He says “thank you” for even the smallest of asks. He knows how to handle himself at work and never loses his cool. He isn’t self-conscious about his clothes or his abilities. He helps someone in need, even strangers.

He is an enigma today. That’s why companies like Brooks Brothers have to print books reminding men how to be gentlemen. There’s still hope. There’s you.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

You can’t go through life trying to please everyone – at one time I tried. Then, I failed miserably. There’s just too many people and some will try to take advantage of you. It can be a very heavy physical strain.

Your goal should be to make yourself happy. Sure, you want to make friends and help people, just know your limits.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Within every one of us lies the power to make change – we’ve talked about this before. The problem is that so many people just don’t know where to start. They look up and down to try to figure out how to change people’s minds, but the key lies with them.

You must change yourself from the onset. One cannot expect others to change if they keep going on without changing themselves. Consider this:

Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale

Just one simple thought is all you have to change. It’s amazing how simple it can be if you put your mind to it. If you find yourself always getting upset through a repeated action or thought, change how you approach it. Don’t let yourself go on continuing to be mad at the same things if you can help it – and usually you can. You make the decisions that affect your world and the world around you. 

Make decisions that make your life better, even if it’s the harder way to think at first. Just one thought. One mind to start. One world to follow. One person – you.

Love, 

Dad

Dear Max,

Today is the first full day of Spring. It’s the first time you’re experiencing your Mom’s favorite season. I’m sitting here watching you and her sleeping on the couch while I write. Finding quiet time in a rarity these days, so I’ll stay awake just to experience it. 

Finding quiet time is never easy, and I always find it in the most odd places. For example, mowing the lawn, parasailing, the first snow of the season and driving are all times when I can find that peace. These are my “quiet” times. 

You need these times. Seek to find that quiet in our noisey world. 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Max,

Time and again this question comes up. Someone says “Who wants to go first?” And, people just look at each other or at the floor. 

Sometimes these situations call for ‘ladies first’ as a true gentleman would follow that rule. Other times it calls for you.

You need to look up, step up and set the bar. If you don’t, a peer will. Volunteering to go first gives you a chance to show others what you’re all about. 

The one who goes first is always remembered the longest.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

The term ‘fashionably late’ is just a term that someone who is always late came up with to sound cool. Being ‘fashionably late’ is just being late. Arriving on time doesn’t help you much either. It means you made it, but just barely.

Get where you going early. It gives you a few minutes to prepare, get acclimated or chat before whatever you’re doing gets started. You’ll be glad you did.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Storytelling is a very influential tool for getting your point across in any situation. Long before the invention of the printing press, people would gather in city squares or around campfires to hear and tell stories. This is how history and lessons were passed through the generations.

In today’s day and age, we have things like this – a blog. Storytelling is just as important today as it ever was. You have to be able to relate to people in a way that they will remember the point to you story. If you simply tell them what you want them to do or learn they will ultimately forget it. Storytelling is an inherent wan within all of us. We used to ask for one more story before we went to bed. We used to pass down unwritten history through song and folklore. We used stories to stay connected.

Use stories. Stay connected to whom ever your audience is. Be a storyteller.

Love,

Daddy

You at 8 months, 2015

Dear Max,

People always ask me “what are you dressed up for?” To most people, dressed up today is wearing slacks instead of jeans. People notice, but they are in a relaxed mindset when it comes to clothing. While some my criticize you because of their own insecurities, the people who matter are paying attention just when you think they aren’t.

Life is too short to be walking around like a slob. You never want to look less than the potential you are capable of. Be thoughtful about your clothing choices, how your shoes look and if you match. Keep your hands and fingernails clean. Each of these things will emphasize your smile and your potential.

Sometimes its as simple as using an iron and sometimes its about wearing a nice looking sport coat, but, no matter what, you should always look your best.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

Don’t ever be afraid to dream. You have my permission. If you dream it, you can make it work. I promise.

Love,

Dad

Dear Max,

The last couple years has welcomed a lot of change in my life. I observed that so many people my age are searching for something. They buy loads of new expensive clothes and stay out til dawn. No matter how much they do or buy they’re still searching for more. 

That was me. And, then you were born.

Love,

Dad